Wednesday, May 23, 2007

A Rose is a Rose


As some of you may know, I work in public health. This affords me the opportunity to make contact with every freak of nature in the tri-county area. Our agency offers family planning services, STD testing and treatment, WIC, and immunizations. Sometimes all on the same patient.



Caller: Hi, I need to be checked for
dirtiness.


Me, unfazed: Ok, can you come in today?

Caller: Yes, and while I am there, do you do surgery? I
think I have a feather in my ear.


Me: One moment please *pressing the mute
button*


Me: Oh. My. God. while spitting coffee on my computer.





Nutritionist, meeting with WIC client: So how is Junior doing with his cereal?



Client: I don't know how people feed that stuff to their kids. Every time I try, it just blows off the spoon.





As interesting as though encounters were, young parents' attempts at creativity in the baby name department just make my job a never-ending hoot! I may never know how young LuckyBoy got his moniker, but it's a sure bet that he is never going to run for political office!



I can tell that all of you chose your children's names with care. Invincible Erik, the Norseman. Beautiful Clare, with her quiet dignity. Abigale, with her blond braids and kind nature. Feisty Emerson. Sexy Tatum. Exotic Gianna. Sweet, nonthreatening Ava, who loves unconditionally.



And then we have JaFreeda. DaChristian (as opposed to DaSinner?) Mikayla/Makayla/Mequella. Tank (who weighed in at a whopping 5# 15oz) RV (named after the place he was conceived?) JerMichael (not MY Michael) ANYTHING with an apostrophe. It never ends. Have these people never heard of saints and angels? When all else fails, pick an apostle and run with it! Little Tyrongela will be eternally grateful.

PS: The picture of RockStar Ava was too cute not to share. ~K




7 comments:

Nancy said...

I can't describe the noises that came out of me just now as I read your post. Good lord, woman, you are hilarious.

Erik was almost JUBAL SACKETT instead of Erik Quinn. I must have been high on hormones during my pregnancy when I suggested he look in the bookshelf for names and he found the Louis Lamour section.

I absolutely adore you.

Gina said...

Kim,
Your post made me chuckle. I am a kindergarten teacher in th inner city and I have come across some pretty strange names but the ones you listed are the most bizarre I have ever seen!!! What were these parents thinking???? Ava looks adorable!!!(I L-O-V-E the name Ava by the way)

PS- two years ago I had a child in my room named Bettyboo (It was on her birth certificate)

Kerry said...

You CRACK me up, Kim! :) I volunteer in the school and we have some weird ones, not quite like yours though. The things we get are people who phonetically spell names. Danyel is one- her sister is Makayla.

Every minute counts.... said...

You made me laugh out loud. I have wondered the same things on so many occasions...why would you name your child something so bizarre? You are just asking for them to hate you later. I too have heard my far share of names that make you stop and say "what did you call your child?"...

Thanks for the pics of Ava! She is so cute!

Noel

Teresa & Shawn said...

Love the photo.

Love the phone calls. (Your job must never be boring!!)

Love the names.

The best I ever heard was one time when Clare was in the hospital, they have all the kids' names posted on the doors. One little baby's name was Galaxy. How can you do that to your child? The other great one is my sister's mother-in-law was in nursing school and there were twins in the NICU. (I am going to phonetically type their names as best I can because otherwise it would ruin the story.) Their names were Oronjhulo and Lamonjhulo (think putting French accents on them and saying the jhulo like mint julep). Spelled out - their names were OrangeJello and LemonJello.

Nicole said...

That was so funny, Kim!! You crack me up. How in the world do you keep it together on the phone. Thank God for the mute button.

I can hardly believe those names. How funny!! And Teresa, you had me laughing out loud with your story.

Love Rock Star AVA!!

Aspen said...

Oh this post left me laughing with tears! HAHA! Very funny.