Monday, August 18, 2008

This has not been a good summer. I have been stuck, stagnant, and apathetic. Basically, I've been mired in a depression so deep that I can't seem to get out. This isn't anything new, it's just taking much longer to resolve itself. I take medicine, I'm pretty self-aware, yet the depression persists. I find myself avoiding social situations, neglecting to return phone calls, and basically hiding in my house every chance I get. Even weekends don't help; I sleep literally all day on Saturday, nap on Sunday, and drag myself back to work on Monday. I will be seeing my doctor September 2, and I am hoping that some good will come of that visit. I don't like to complain in such a public venue, but I just wanted you all to know that I haven't forgotten any of you. I truly want to post on this blog and read all of yours. I just don't have the energy most days.

Let me give you a quick update on Ava. Hold onto your hats!

In the past couple of months Miss Ava accomplished the following amazing feats:

  • Graduated from the G-tube and eats like a horse. She weighs 25 lbs.
  • Went "Number One" on the the potty--two times!
  • Learned a gazillion new words.
  • Developed a temper the likes of which has never been seen this side of
  • Learned to swim, kind of, with a dog-paddling stroke so long as
    someone supports her under the tummy.
  • Climbed on a jungle gym.
  • Learned torture skills that would make a Nazi proud--biting, scratching,
    slapping, screaming, and NO! Said skills are usually performed on people she
    loves, especially her mommy. Go figure.
  • Followed by, "Hi, Mama! How you?"

To top it all off, our camera is broken. I am hoping that Laura will share her photos (hint) with me soon so I can post them.

Have a great day!


Every minute counts.... said...

Love to hear from you :) I have missed you. Can't wait to see recent pictures of that beautiful little girl!!
....And 25 lbs WOW !!!!!


Tes said...

Take care of yourself! I actually had to have my med upped since I was not coping well, even with all my techniques. I hope to hear from you soon. Big Hug Tes

Julie said...

Wow she has passed Noah up. I hope you start feeling better soon. Hugs.

Tara said...

I'm thinking of you. I struggle with depression as well and I'm so glad you are self-aware and seeking care from your doctor. Hang in there.

Ava sounds like she is doing fantastic!! I'm so proud of her eating!!!!

Ava Jewel Leilani said...

I am always thinking of you and our family. I too have been battled with depression since childhood. As you I am very self aware and over the last few months have been having the same symptons that you mentioned,I really started to worry when I found my self starting to detach from the one thing that makes me smile everyday and I sure you know who that is (my ava jewel), I had my meds changed and slowly and get back to the world. I am sending you much love and many hugs, just remember you are not alone. Anna

Heather said...

Oh Kim, I hope you feel better soon.
I can't wait to see Ava's pics also.
Um, about the temper. I know the temper ;)
So glad that she is off the G-tube.
post soon, it does a mind good.
huge hugs! Heather

Kerry said...

:) So glad to hear from YOU and to hera about Ava - unbelieveable progress!!!!

Take care of yourself; we're all out here for you :):)

Laura said...

I think about you daily, it's good to hear from you. Take care of yourself.
Sounds like little Miss Ava is doing well! Can't wait to see pictures.

Nancy said...

I missed you, too!

I'm fighting depression, too. I guess even though we know what it is and how to deal with it, it can be pretty persistent. Hang in there and know you are not alone.


Penny said...

I am so gald to finally hear from you and hear such great pgogress about Ava! She is doing wonderful!

I, tpp suffer greatly from depression. Idhope you get some answers at the docotr. You need to take care of yourself for Ava,

Big Hugs. You are not alone

Amy said...

Wow, I am very impressed with Ava. Understand the depression all too well. Maybe it is time to switch to something else? My happy pills usually stop working after a while and I have to switch. Sorry about the loss of your stepbrother's son.